(The following post was submitted by Babette Calloway)
Why I’m returning to this Chaplaincy Internship Program (CIP) class after graduation? I have been asked this question numerous times. So much so that I started asking the question myself.
I started my journey with CIP in spring 2016. Actually, let me back up to when I visited this class for the very first time. I saw a young lady speaking in the front of the class (just like I am doing – giving her reflection). She was telling the group some of her weaknesses, private moments, trying to hold back the tears. I saw this young lady broken – trying to tell her story so she can move on to something greater. I didn’t know then; but this is what I want to do. I want to let go of some baggage. I have to let go of some things, so God can fill me with His greatness.
Why I’m returning to this CIP class after graduation? I did my time. I put in the hard work. This is not an easy class. The work is hard mentally and spiritually. There is a lot of homework to complete, exams and papers to write. This is some hard stuff.
I stood up here each semester to tell my story (reflect). It takes a lot of courage to stand here to tell people about your shortcomings or deepest secrets. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. I remember standing here telling the class that I was a victim of domestic violence. My husband used to protect me from anyone who would look sideways at me or looked like they wanted to say something wrong. He would protect me and still do. However, he was the same one who would verbal and mentally abuse me.
I remember standing here telling the class how I would put my daughter before everything I did. I am her mother, her protector. I was so busy with my daughter’s life that I did not have time to focus on my own life. I would continue to suppress my own problems-like I didn’t have any problems. When my daughter left for college I was broken. It felt like the world came crashing down on me. It was not just a matter of empty nest syndrome. I was broken.
I remember talking about losing my job of 15+ years. This was a big part of my life. I was depressed about this and didn’t know that I was depressed. Nor did I have the skills to prepare myself for such a transition. It was doing this time when we went through the process of grief recovery when I discovered that I was grieving the loss of my job.
Before I joined this class, I was depressed and confused; but didn’t really know that I was depressed and confused. This class gave me hope. It reminded me that God loves me no matter what. I have learned so much both personal and professional development. I have the tools to help me grow and learn more. I have learned from this class to never stop learning. When I completed my bachelor’s degree, I didn’t want to go back to school. I said I was done learning because I was so drained. But look at me now. I have asked Dr. Clark if I can return to his class. I want to keep learning.
So why I’m I here? I am here because I am in the next phase of my life of transitioning from an employee to an entrepreneur. This is a huge step/ leap of faith. I know I can do the work. I have helped other companies build their company to what it is today. I am not afraid of hard work. Procrastination is real. We have talked about procrastination in this class. But again, the struggle is real. I will have a lot of time on my hands. I can do as I please. I can keep putting things off until tomorrow when I need to do things today. I have to harness the leadership traits that we learned about the last two semesters. I will need help with how to continue when things do not go my way. I have to remember the role of hope, understanding and controlling my emotions. Where is God in all of this?
I have large responsibilities before me. I will provide child care services for my first-born grandchild. I am an investor, life insurance agent and financial coach.
Why I’m returning back to class after graduation? What I have realized is this, first, you have to face your fears and acknowledge your pain so that you can move past those setbacks and challenges to reach your full potential in life and your true purpose for living. This class has allowed me to be vulnerable without feeling judged or embarrassed about my setbacks. I am more confident than I have ever been; and as I continue to grow in this class, I strive to reach my destiny in life mentally as well as spiritually. With the challenges that I have faced with my husband, daughter, and career, this class has definitely given me the tools to overcome and strive to have a healthier, mental lifestyle with grace. Accomplishing my goals for the first time in life, realizing that I should not feel guilty about putting myself first, as I continue to provide for my family to create a balanced, stress free environment.
Submitted by Babette Calloway
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